What to Write in a Sympathy Card

If you knew the person who died

• I am so sorry about Maria. I will always remember how she welcomed everyone into her kitchen.
• David's patience and dry sense of humor made every team meeting better. I am grateful I knew him.
• I keep thinking about the story you told me about your dad teaching you to drive. I am holding you close this week.

If you did not know them personally

• I am so sorry for your loss. I know how important your sister was to you.
• There is no need to reply. I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and your family.
• I did not have the chance to meet your grandfather, but the way you speak about him shows how deeply he was loved.

Offer help that is easy to accept

“Let me know if you need anything” gives a grieving person another decision to make. If you can genuinely help, offer one specific action and make declining easy.

• I can leave dinner at your door on Thursday around six. No need to visit, and please say if another day is better.
• I am free to drive you to the appointment on Monday. If you already have a ride, no worries at all.
• I will check in again next week. You do not need to answer this message.

Phrases to reconsider

Avoid guessing how the person feels, looking for a positive lesson, or comparing the loss with your own experience. Phrases such as “everything happens for a reason,” “at least they lived a long life,” or “I know exactly how you feel” can make the recipient feel unheard.

Before sending, read the note once and check: Is every detail true? Have I avoided advice? Is my offer something I can actually do? If yes, the message is ready.